


slut drop inc.

by drewisdreaming



Category: Monsta X (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: #toomanymemes2k18, AND A LIAR SORRZY, Asexual Character, Asexual Kim Seokjin | Jin, Chatting & Messaging, Comedy, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Choi Hansol | Vernon, HAHA SO THIS ISN'T JUST GONNA BE BTS I'M WEAK, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Sope, Textfic, Yoonseok - Freeform, but like, but one can infer that there is hyunghyuk here, chatfic, excessive use of the ™ symbol - Freeform, hopefully, it doesn't say it outright, it probably isn't and y'all gonna be laughing at me, it's definitely hyunghyuk keke, it's mostly comedy tho, keep that in mind, minjoon - Freeform, namjoon is a tsundere bitch but y'all know he secretly loves jimin a lot, seokjin is an Ultra Lorde Stan™, taehyung quotes too many memes, taekook, the angst is kinda? minor but still important, the established is minjoon tho, vkook, you can read it as not hyunghyuk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-03-12 21:59:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13556430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drewisdreaming/pseuds/drewisdreaming
Summary: S34GU11:lmfao jimin you hoeSucculentBasketball95:i can't help my naturally whoring tendencies stop attacking mebuzzkill-senpai:you are the worst friends i've ever hadleadrapperTAEHYUNG:tru tho





	1. because that's what best friends do.

**Author's Note:**

> i said this would be up at eight but my internet shit out and would not post it until now lmfao
> 
> their usernames:
> 
> Jeongguk - S34GU11  
> Taehyung - leadrapperTAEHYUNG  
> Jimin - SucculentBasketball95  
> Namjoon - move bitch, get out the way  
> Hoseok - where's my shoe  
> Yoongi - minholly  
> Seokjin - flowerchild
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: sylchat is a made up chatting application so i could take as many liberties as i wanted with the mechanics of it. i was gonna use kakaotalk but kkt doesn't have the feel and specific things i'm going for, so sorry if that bothers you for some reason.
> 
> also!! the length of chapters is going to vary depending on writer's block, motivation, inspiration, etc., but i'm hoping to keep them pretty stable. if i end up having a rly short chapter i apologize ): i'm hoping to update every friday around 8-10pm ct so if i need to cut the length of the chapter to meet the deadline then believe me i will. i will not let this be another austauschstudent (which, by the way, is still ongoing if i ever get around to writing the next chapter lmfao).
> 
> i stayed up for literally three days straight just writing the first and second chapters >_> why does it take me so lonG hhnnnggg
> 
> i may revise the tags depending on the circumstances, after all i've only prewritten two chapters. i'm just doing this as i go tbh ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )
> 
> pls enjoy and/or laugh at this nonsense but if not that's okay too

Welcome to **SylChat**!

 

Please enter your email address.

 

iwanttobelieve020@aol.com|

 

Please enter your password.

 

thefifthcypher6969|

 

Successfully logged in!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has created a new chatroom!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has renamed **Unnamed Chatroom** to **slut drop inc.**!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has added **flowerchild** to **slut drop inc.**!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has added **SucculentBasketball95** to **slut drop inc.**!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has added **move bitch, get out the way** to **slut drop inc.**!

 

 **flowerchild:** finallY

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has added **S34GU11** to **slut drop inc.**!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has added **where's my shoe** to **slut drop inc.**!

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** i was finna slap you with a fish if you didn't make another chat

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has added **minholly** to **slut drop inc.**!

 

 **S34GU11:** oh what it's back??

 

 **minholly:** taehyung whY

 

 **minholly:** i deleted that godforsaken chatroom for a REASON u SHIT

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** stfu old man ur no fun

 

 **where's my shoe:** :o he's gonna kill you

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** needa grab popcorn for dis

 

 **minholly:** u wanna fucking die you pissant midget?

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has changed **minholly** 's name to **old man**!

 

 **old man:** both of u run the fuck away

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** *drops popcorn*

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** *runs sanic speed away from flaming yoongi*

 

 **move bitch, get out the way:** it is THREE

 

 **move bitch, get out the way:** in the MORNING

 

 **move bitch, get out the way:** i did not ASK FOR THIS

 

 **where's my shoe** has changed **move bitch, get out the way** 's name to **buzzkill-senpai**!

 

 **S34GU11:** i'd laugh but i feel like if i did namjoon-hyung would use his supersonic hearing and then promptly proceed to kill me

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** u ain't wrong

 

 **S34GU11:** noted

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** why can't we all be friends

 

 **old man:** probably because you changed mY NAME TO OLD MAN

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** it was a J O K E hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhngggggg

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has changed **old man** 's name to **minholly**!

 

 **SucculentBasketball95** has changed **minholly** 's name to **old man**!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** jimin

 

 **flowerchild:** i mean u do act like a grandpa half the time tho

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** and the other half you're like a cuddly bear on steroids

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** neither of those conclusions are false

 

 **old man:** fucking die, i'm tired

 

 **flowerchild:** sleep then u pussy

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** says the one who cried when he lost a vinegar drinking contest against yoongi himself

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** p u s s y

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** *airhorn noises*

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** where's the mlg glasses

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** nvm yoongi's so old he won't even get the joke

 

 **where's my shoe:** if yoongi's an old man, then jeongguk's iron man

 

 **where's my shoe:** a.k.a. very untrue

 

 **S34GU11:** (':

 

 **S34GU11:**  t r i g g e r e d

 

 **old man:** at least hobi isn't a complete fucking dipshit unlike all the rest of you miserable fuckpillows

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** thanks, i'll keep that in mind next time i try DEFENDING YOU

 

 **flowerchild:** go take a nap old man

 

 **old man:** i'm not old you hyperactive rat

 

 **flowerchild:** ooh i'm so scared

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** i sure hope the old man doesn't break his back throwing hands

 

 **old man:** you can all go fucking die in a hole

 

 **old man** has left the group!

 

 **where's my shoe:** guys that was a little mean

 

 **flowerchild:** he knows we're just messing with him lmao

 

 **where's my shoe:** don't you think you took it too far though?

 

 **S34GU11:** i kinda agree with hoseok-hyung? that wasn't messing around with him, that was straight-up bullying

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhh stop making me feel guilty

 

 **S34GU11:** but taehyung u didn't even rly do anything y do u feel guilty

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** idk i feel bad when yoongi's tired and he's mad at me bc i'm being stupid

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** when people get upset it's usually my fault anyway

 

 **where's my shoe:** tae ): r u okay???

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has added **minholly** to **slut drop inc.**!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** yoongi we're sorrrryyyyyyy pls stay

 

 **where's my shoe:** ...:(

 

 **S34GU11:** please hyung??

 

 **minholly:** y'all are annoying

 

 **flowerchild:** i'll tone my savagery down i promise

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** actually it's more like blatant bullying

 

 **where's my shoe:** if you stay and they keep being dongs then i promise i'll sacrifice them to satan

 

 **minholly:** fine

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** i pray to my satan-sama altar every night, He would never accept me from a lowly being such as yourself

 

 **S34GU11:** what

 

 **where's my shoe:** what

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** what

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** what

 

 **minholly:** btw i still don't forgive u kim fuckjin

 

 **S34GU11:** hyung can't help it that he's naturally abrasive, it's just something you learn to deal with

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** yeah, jin can't help his uncontrollable shitshow of a complete asshole personality

 

 **flowerchild:** i will expose your nudes to the whole fucking world if you say another word park jimin

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** why the fuck do you have my boyfriend's nudes

 

 **flowerchild:** jimin doesn't check who he's texting apparently

 

 **flowerchild:** btw he sucks at sexting

 

 **flowerchild:** he makes weak-ass advances

 

 **flowerchild:** the angle and lighting in his dick pic sucks ass too

 

 **flowerchild:** but i mean then again no amount of shadows and posing will hide the fact that he has a small peepee

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** finna neck myself

 

 **S34GU11:** lmfao jimin you hoe

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** i can't help my naturally whoring tendencies stop attacking me

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** you are the worst friends i've ever had

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** tru tho

 

 **S34GU11:** ):

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** except u gukkie

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** ur the only one who hasn't exposed my ass at some point

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** thx for refraining bc i know for a fact u have enough blackmail material on me to last longer than it takes for hunter x hunter to go off of hiatus

 

 **where's my shoe:** ohly shit

 

 **where's my shoe:** can we just all come to an agreement that taehyung delivers the most savage backhanded roasts on the spot

 

 **S34GU11:** agreed

 

 **flowerchild:** hahahahaha

 

 **S34GU11:** dad i hate u

 

 **flowerchild:** also agreed

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** he's creative af, that's for sure

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** i think jimin's ass is permanently browned from the amount of times taehyung and jeongguk tag-team on him to roast him

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** u would know

 

**where's my shoe:**

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** i feel so appreciated, this is new

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** what's the occasion???? my birthday isn't for a few months

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** oh wait u guys are pranking me aren't you

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** gdi i'm not dumb u guys just suck

 

 **minholly:** that was like,, rly depressing taehyung

 

 **minholly:** are we really that bad

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** what????

 

 **flowerchild:** don't mind me just sweating outta my eyeballs

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** or ur regular balls

 

 **flowerchild** has temporarily muted **SucculentBasketball95** for: **6 minutes, 09 seconds**!

 

 **minholly:** hahahaha u deserve it u little elf bitch

 

 **S34GU11:** i always appreciate u taehyung (:

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** thanks gukkie :))

 

 **flowerchild:** hahahahahhahahahahahahahhahaa

 

 **S34GU11:** i refuse to acknowledge u fuckjin

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** can we just agree that we appreciate and love each other because we're all friends for some fucked up reason?

 

 **S34GU11:** love you too dad

 

 **flowerchild:** couldn't have said it better myself

 

 **minholly:** we're probably friends because hoseok refuses to let any one of us actually dislike one another

 

 **where's my shoe:** i am the One True Jesus™, Your Hope™, and your Lord and Saviour™

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** where's the lie

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** now that that's all sorted out

 

 **SucculentBasketball95** 's mute timer has run out!

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** just so you know i hate all of you and am muting this chatroom and S L E E P I N G

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** GOODBYE SHITFUCKS

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** (':

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** goodbye jimin

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** :D

 

 **S34GU11:** wut

 

 **flowerchild:** wut x2

 

 **where's my shoe:** lol joon is so whipped for jimin

 

 **minholly:** seconded

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** thirded

 

 **S34GU11:** fourthed

 

 **flowerchild:** fifthed

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** sixthed

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** seventhed

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** good fucking bye

 

 **buzzkill-senpai** has muted all chat notifications!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** well there goes one of us, how lonely ):

 

 **S34GU11:** i'm still here hyung (:

 

 **flowerchild:** lol i see u guk, u slip nothing by my Hawk Eyes™

 

 **S34GU11:** ending that conversation right there

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** ik guks i just wanted to have some Group Fun™ together )':::

 

 **flowerchild:** kinky

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** do u even know how 2 emoji

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** NO

 

 **where's my shoe:** yoongi-hyung, did you get the lyrics i sent you earlier?

 

 **minholly:** yeah thnaks, i looked over them but i didn't really have much time to text you back about them

 

 **where's my shoe:** what did you think? i wasn't sure about how well it would flow together hence me asking you

 

 **flowerchild:** FAM THAT SHIT'S BORING

 

 **flowerchild:** geT THAT OUTTA HERE

 

 **flowerchild:** let't talk about something more fun

 

 **flowerchild:** like how much y'all want the dicking

 

 **S34GU11:** hyung no

 

 **where's my shoe:** wink wonk

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** jin pls

 

 **minholly:** i swear to god

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** i'm a proud slut so i don't care

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** jimin please everyone already knows that shit

 

 **S34GU11:** tae's right, it's kinda hard for anyone to think otherwise when literally all you do is grind on namjoon-hyung when you're bored

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** im still ur hyung u shitty widowmaker main

 

 **S34GU11:** TOO FUCKING FAR

 

 **S34GU11:** HOW DARE YOU

 

 **SucculentBasketball95** has changed **S34GU11** 's name to **massive loser!**!

 

 **massive loser!:** ...

 

 **minholly:** oh shit hitting em with the triple dots

 

 **where's my shoe:** he boutta go off, grab the popcorn yall

 

 **massive loser!:** AT LEAST IM SPEDNING MY TIME ACTUALLY DOING OMSETHING FUN WITH MY LIIFE AND ENTERTAINING MYSELF IN A HEALTHY WAY UNLIKE YOUR CONSTANT PATHETIC, DESPERATE VYING FOR NAMJOO'NS ATTENTION BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING ELSE YOUR MIDGETY ASS KNOWS HOW TO DO

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** that cut deep bro

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** damn kid slow the fuck down there, don't go all savage ape on us again

 

 **massive loser!:** sorry taetae-hyung

 

 **flowerchild:** hahahhahahahahahahahaha

 

 **massive loser!:** do NOT

 

 **flowerchild:** hHAHAHahAHAHaHa

 

 **massive loser!:** NO

 

 **where's my shoe:** what is going on

 

 **flowerchild:** DEEP DARK SECRETS

 

 **minholly:** why am i not surprised literally at all

 

 **massive loser!:** hyung pls don't i beg of u

 

 **flowerchild:** I SEE RIGHT THRU YOU, U LIL SHIT

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** what secrets, i thought we were best friends guk ): <

 

 **massive loser!:** nOTHIGN

 

 **flowerchild:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

 **massive loser!:** jIN

 

 **flowerchild:** YOUR PAIN AMUSES ME

 

 **where's my shoe:** ur literally the worst dad we've ever had

 

 **minholly:** agreed

 

**•○•**

 

 **S34GU11** has created a new chatroom!

 

 **S34GU11** has renamed **Unnamed Chatroom** to **taekook!!!!**!

 

 **S34GU11** has added **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** to **taekook!!!!**!

 

 **S34GU11** has changed their name to **kook!!**!

 

 **kook!!** has changed **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** 's name to **tae!!**!

 

 **tae!!:** oh what's up guk

 

 **kook!!:** hey tae

 

 **kook!!:** not much, just wanted to make a chat

 

 **tae!!:** oh, okay

 

 **tae!!:** so,,,, did u need something?

 

 **kook!!:** no! just wanted to chat

 

**kook!!:**

 

 **kook!!:** okay i did have something i wanted to ask

 

 **tae!!:** and there it is!

 

 **kook!!:** it's nothing bad i promise

 

 **tae!!:** okay, shoot

 

 **kook!!:** well

 

 **kook!!:** are you okay, taehyung?

 

 **tae!!:** what's this about?

 

 **tae!!:** of course i'm okay. did something happen guks?

 

 **kook!!:** well

 

 **kook!!:** today you were acting kinda weird

 

 **tae!!:** well i'm fine

 

 **kook!!:** taehyung

 

 **kook!!:** youre my best friend, and i'd hope i'm yours as well

 

 **kook!!:** you can always tell me anything

 

 **kook!!:** i don't like you seeing you down and blaming yourself for everything like today

 

 **kook!!:** why were you bashing on yourself so much?

 

 **tae!!:** guk please

 

 **kook!!:** tae??

 

 **tae!!:** i'm not gonna sit here and whine to you jeongguk

 

 **kook!!:** that's literally what i'm ur friend for thO????????/

 

 **kook!!:** i signed the contract and read every cm of the fine print

 

 **kook!!:** i can verify that on page 84 lines 6-8 say specifically

 

 **kook!!:** "mr. jeon is to always listen to mr. kim's problems, thoughts, etc. even if said mr. kim is being bitchy and/or petty. mr. jeon is to offer unwavering support but also call them out on their shit because that's what best friends do. this also applies the opposite way."

 

 **kook!!:** u can't get out of this one sorry buddy

 

 **tae!!:** omg kook

 

 **tae!!:** ur such a dork (:

 

 **kook!!:** did you smile??? bc you deserve to smile

 

 **kook!!:** you deserve the world, tae

 

 **kook!!:** i hate seeing you sad or sayng that stuff about yourself

 

 **tae!!:** i know

 

 **tae!!:** and thank you gukkie

 

 **tae!!:** you're the best friend i could ever ask for :)

 

 **kook!!:** of course i am. i'm the bestestest friend you'll ever have.

 

 **kook!!:** i'm always here to listen if you wanna tell my why you were so sad today

 

 **tae!!:** ...okay

 

 **kook!!:** :)

 

 **tae!!:** idk why, i just... wasnt feeling the best today about myself?? u know

 

 **kook!!:** it's happening again?? :(

 

 **kook!!:** i thought it was fine now

 

 **tae!!:** i thought so too but it was bad today

 

 **kook!!:** i'm sorry tae

 

 **kook!!:** you don't deserve this

 

 **kook!!:** i hate that this happens to as good of a person as you

 

 **tae!!:** you overexaggerate so much, kooks (:

 

 **kook!!:** what do you mean? i've never done that in my life!

 

 **kook!!:** overexaggeration? never heard of her

 

 **tae!!:** lmfao nerd

 

 **kook!!:** want me to bring some ice cream and we can kick hobi out and watch studio ghibli films til we pass out??

 

 **tae!!:** sleepover?

 

 **kook!!:** sleepover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **tae!!:** yes please :)

 

**•○•**

 

 **where's my shoe** has created a new chatroom!

 

 **where's my shoe** has added **minholly** to **Unnamed Chatroom**!

 

 **where's my shoe** has renamed **Unnamed Chatroom** to **The cool ones in the rap line**!

 

 **where's my shoe** has changed **minholly** 's name to **yoongi appreciation day!!**!

 

 **yoongi appreciation day!!:** haha thanks hobi ♥♥

 

 **where's my shoe:** i hope you don't feel bad about them calling you old man and stuff

 

 **where's my shoe:** for the record you can be kinda grumpy at times but i think a grumpy yoongi is a normal and healthy yoongi

 

 **where's my shoe:** and i'd rather you be yourself and not have to deal with shit about it ):

 

 **yoongi appreciation day!!** has changed **where's my shoe** 's name to **literal angel**!

 

 **yoongi appreciation day!!:** hobi ur an actual angel i hope you know that

 

 **yoongi appreciation day!!:** and i wasn't really bothered that much by it, it's okay (: i'm just a bit tired and irritated cuz i've been up working on that song and it's already four something in the morning

 

 **yoongi appreciation day!!:** but thank you for checking in anyway

 

 **yoongi appreciation day!!:** i really appreciate you i hope u know that

 

 **literal angel:** :D of course hyung! i'm always here to talk or if you need help or moral support or snacks

 

 **yoongi appreciation day!!:** snacks? ur a true angel

 

 **yoongi appreciation day!!:** well i'm rly tired, so i'm probably gonna go to bed pretty soon

 

 **yoongi appreciation day!!:** i hope you sleep well hoseok

 

 **literal angel:** sleep tight, yoongi (:


	2. and if you'll never be ready, that's okay too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drew? keeping up with an update schedule? what is this sorcery? is drew honing dark magic? did he make a deal with the devil? the world may never know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANYONE WHO READ THIS CHAPTER BEFORE, SKIM THROUGH UNTIL YOU FIND WHERE THE REST WAS ADDED (IF U WAnT)!! AO3 JUST DECIDED TO CUT OFF A BUNCH AT THE END AND I DIDN'T NOTICE UNTIL NOW; I'M SO SORRY HGHGNFJXBFHJDBDFHJ AO3 PLS LET ME LIVE I'M TRYING SO HARD ! ! ! PLS AO3 HÖR AUF DAMIT
> 
>  
> 
> Weekly Refresh  
>  
> 
> jeongguk - massive loser!
> 
> taehyung - leadrapperTAEHYUNG
> 
> jimin - SucculentBasketball95
> 
> namjoon - buzzkill-senpai
> 
> hoseok - where’s my shoe
> 
> yoongi - minholly
> 
> seokjin - flowerchild

**slut drop inc.**

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** shimmee shimmee ko ko bop, ur such a faget

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG:** ur rendition brings a tear to my eye (':

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG**  has changed their name to **schorfle**!

 

 **flowerchild:** what in the fuck is a schorfle

 

 **massive loser!:** u dare disgrace a classic exo song

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** "a classic"

 

 **minholly:** so i just checked and yep jeongguk is Still a Massive Loser™!

 

 **schorfle:** was i the only one who mentally sung that like that vine

 

 **schorfle:** thanks for checking in, i'm

 

 **schorfle:** sTiLl A pIeCe Of GaRbAgE

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** nope

 

 **massive loser!:** ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

 

 **massive loser!** has changed their name to **ninjutsu master**!

 

 **ninjutsu master:** come @ me fuckr

 

 **where's my shoe:** somehow that's scarier than it reasonably should be

 

**•○•**

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has created a new chatroom!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has renamed **Unnamed Chatroom** to **#sopesquad**!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has added **S34GU11** to **#sopesquad**!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has added **SucculentBasketball95** to **#sopesquad**!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has added **flowerchild** to **#sopesquad**!

 

 **leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has changed their name to **sope trash taetae**!

 

 **sope trash taetae** has changed **S34GU11** 's name to **sope trash gukkie**!

 

 **sope trash taetae** has changed **flowerchild** 's name to **sope trash jinnie**!

 

 **sope trash taetae** has changed **SucculentBasketball95** 's name to **sope trash minnie**!

 

 **sope trash taetae:** HELLO

 

 **sope trash taetae:** and WELCOME

 

 **sope trash taetae:** TO THE GRAND OPENING OF #SOPESQUAD

 

 **sope trash taetae:** SINCE WE ALL KNOW YOONGI AND HOSEOK SECRETLY WANT EACH OTHER'S SUCC

 

 **sope trash taetae:** IT'S OUR MISSION TO GET THEM TO GET THAT DAMN SUCC

 

 **sope trash minnie:** i'm on board

 

 **sope trash gukkie:** haha okay

 

 **sope trash jinnie:** yeet

 

 **sope trash minnie:** why isn't joonie here too though?

 

 **sope trash taetae:** BC I DON'T TRUST HIM TO KEEP HIS FILTHY MOUTH SHUT

 

**sope trash minnie:**

 

**sope trash minnie:**

 

 **sope trash jinnie:** oooooooh u insulted his bf oooooh

 

 **sope trash minnie:** fair enough

 

 **sope trash jinnie:** what

 

 **sope trash gukkie:** ooh hyung! i have something!!

 

 **sope trash taetae:** GO AHEAD FELLOW SOPE TRASH

 

 **sope trash gukkie:** okay so you know how we kicked out hobi last night to have our studio ghibli sleepover??

 

 **sope trash jinnie:** heheheeehhehehehe

 

 **sope trash gukkie:** stfu fuckjin

 

 **sope trash minnie:** wat

 

 **sope trash gukkie:** so anyway, after you fell alseep i had to use the bathroom so i paused th emovie and left, and when i walked by the door to yoongi's room i saw that hoseok got into bed with him even though there were plenty of other places to sleep (: <

 

 **sope trash gukkie:** they were cuddling in their sleep and it was so cute :D

 

 **sope trash taetae:** GOOD SPY WORK AGENT

 

 **sope trash minnie:** they're so obviously pining after each other tho??

 

 **sope trash minnie:** like idk if you guys have noticed but a majority of the time we're in the group chat whenever one of them says something hte other has to follow along right after

 

 **sope trash jinnie:** oh, oh, and how whenever we were saying yoongi was a grandpa hoseok was fighting valiantly to protect his honour

 

 **sope trash jinnie:** hoseok's such a knight in shining armour

 

 **sope trash jinnie:** i'm asexual and i still would fucc because that man is godly

 

 **sope trash gukkie:** i'm interested in someone else and i still would fucc because wow he'd treat u right

 

 **sope trash minnie:** i'm already taken and i still would fucc

 

 **sope trash minnie:** like mm those abs and angelic glow

 

 **sope trash taetae:** so basically the moral of the story is that hoseok is god, get u a man like jung hoseok, and everyone would fucc

 

 **sope trash gukkie:** yep

 

 **sope trash jinnie:** yes

 

 **sope trash minnie:** yeah

 

 **sope trash jinnie:** wait we're here for yoonseok not to fanboy over how amazing hoseok is

 

 **sope trash gukkie:** oh yeah

 

 **sope trash minnie:** whoops

 

 **sope trash taetae:** aiGHT back on track children

 

 **sope trash minnie:** i'm older than you

 

 **sope trash jinnie:** i'm older than you

 

 **sope trash gukkie:** lmfao

 

 **sope trash taetae:** stfu

 

 **sope trash taetae:** oh w8 my pizza's here

 

 **sope trash taetae:** lol fuck yall plebs i want my pizza

 

 **sope trash taetae:** we will continue this meeting at a later date

 

 **sope trash taetae:** MEETING ADJOURNED

 

**•○•**

 

**slut drop inc.**

 

 **where's my shoe** has changed their name to **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET**!

 

 **flowerchild:** tf is that

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** only the finest of meme combos

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** respecc me

 

 **flowerchild:** no

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** ok

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** jin needs a new name

 

 **minholly:** oh shit u rite

 

 **minholly** has changed **flowerchild** 's name to **rotting carcASS**!

 

 **rotting carcASS:** thanks it suits me so well

 

 **minholly:** ;* ily bro

 

 **rotting carcASS:** ;* ily more bro

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** yo yo yo yo namjoonie

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** what hoe

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** why would you answer your dear jiminie in such a manner? to use such an outlandish accusation, preposterous ! ! !

 

 **buzzkill-senpai:** what hoe

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** wanna fuck

 

 **schorfle:** was that so hard to say in the first place tho instead of stinking up our chat

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** no i'm just a Dramatic Hoe™

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** i rly want ur mecha-dong joon

 

 **schorfle:** what in the everliving fuck

 

 **ninjutsu master:** don't dirty talk to each other in the group chat u shits

 

 **rotting carcASS:** what guk said

 

 **buzzkill-senpai** has changed their name to **mecha-dong**!

 

 **minholly:** since when do you agree with anything jeongguk says

 

 **rotting carcASS:** since jimin decided to be a whore in a public chat

 

 **minholly:** fair enough

 

 **ninjutsu master:** i've learned to not take offense to these things anymore

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** u guys should appreciate my baby's mecha-dong

 

 **mecha-dong:** my mecha-dong is only reserved for the finest ass in the land

 

 **SucculentBasketball95:** which is my sweet ass tyvm

 

 **mecha-dong:** yes obviously who else heh

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** "heh" wow u shady af

 

**schorfle:**

 

**schorfle:**

 

**schorfle:**

 

 **schorfle** has changed **SucculentBasketball95** 's name to **namjoon's eighteenth side hoe**!

 

 **namjoon's eighteenth side hoe:** kys schorfle i'm his main hoe

 

 **namjoon's eighteenth side hoe:** right baby

 

**mecha-dong:**

 

**namjoon's eighteenth side hoe:**

 

**mecha-dong:**

 

**namjoon's eighteenth side hoe:**

 

**mecha-dong:**

 

 **namjoon's eighteenth side hoe** has changed their name to **#notasidehoe**!

 

**mecha-dong:**

 

**mecha-dong:**

 

 **mecha-dong:** yes

 

 **ninjutsu master:** the fact that jimin acknowledges that namjoon has more hoes than just him is truly inspiring

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** i love domestic disputes

 

**•○•**

 

 **ninjutsu master:** taetae hyuuuuuuuuuuuunggggggg

 

 **schorfle:** what gukkie

 

 **ninjutsu master:** i'm boooorreeeeedddddddddddd

 

 **schorfle:** there's no need to drraaaaaaaaagggggggggggg oooooooooouuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttt yyyyyooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrr wwwwwwooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrddddddddddsssssssssssssssss

 

 **ninjutsu master:** hhhhhhhhdhdjhfjdshj i'm just

 

 **ninjutsu master:** like stressed out and bored at the same time

 

 **schorfle:** gg no re

 

 **ninjutsu master:** i just want soMETHIGNT O DO

 

 **#notasidehoe:** wank

 

 **ninjutsu master:** PREFERRABLY SOMEThING nON-STREsSFUL

 

 **ninjutsu master:** stfu jimin u whore

 

 **mecha-dong:** yeah stfu jimin u whore

 

 **#notasidehoe:** ur supposed to be on my side asshole

 

 **rotting carcASS:** guk it rly isn't hard ot find shit to do aroudn here

 

 **schorfle:** play overwatch or smth

 

 **ninjutsu master:** hdzcbhjash i'm bored of overwacth and it's toxic bullshit

 

 **ninjutsu master:** i juST WANT SOMETHING EASY

 

 **ninjutsu master:** LIKE SOMETIMES I JUST WANT A DICK IN MY ASS IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK GODDAMN

 

**schorfle:**

 

**mecha-dong:**

 

**#notasidehoe:**

 

**rotting carcASS:**

 

**schorfle:**

 

**MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:**

 

**mecha-dong:**

 

**minholly:**

 

**#notasidehoe:**

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** WJWKHFJKBWYGIUNVERN JKFdn JFE NVfo???VFe / E/fw/F?/??? ? ?W??VW

 

 **#notasidehoe:** WHAT THE FUCK BHW fejjndwc jkwnqkj n jN cjn cn cnDC K

 

 **mecha-dong:** EXCUSE ME U LITTLE FUCKCKk??!!!!

 

 **rotting carcASS:** WHERE THE FUCK DID MY PRECIOUS CHILD'S INNOCENCE GO I DID NOT RAISE U LIKE THIS ! ! ! !

 

 **rotting carcASS:** JIMIN U FUCKIGN HOE DID YOU TAINT JEONGGUK

 

 **#notasidehoe:** nO HE'S A NATuRAL HOE OEBVIOSUsLY

 

 **minholly:** holy shit jeongguk i think u broke the chat

 

 **ninjutsu master:** ?????????????????????

 

 **mecha-dong:** when u thought ur son was straight but in reality u infected him with the gay

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** “the gay”

 

 **#notasidehoe:** dhejwfnjnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNSNSNNSnnnnnnn cndjs kkkkkkkkkkkl s sl     l lslls vfeq/

 

 **schorfle:** i think my soul just floated out of my body

 

 **rotting carcASS:** HONESTLY SAME

 

 **#notasidehoe:** hdewj njwncdjkwnjnwqjcnjkw Njwq @#!@?!# 1dncjwc

 

 **ninjutsu master:** whats yalls problem

 

 **rotting carcASS:** U JUST SAID U WANT A DICK IN UR ASS

 

 **mecha-dong:** jeongguk are u gay? why haven't we hear about this before? wtF??/?QQ?

 

 **#notasidehoe:** hjweidfh uewnfcjinj NDJ wncdk nCJwd

 

 **ninjutsu master:** no??? i'm bi

 

 **mecha-dong:** my son  <><>,.,.<.,.,>,.,.,>>,.,.,>,,.?<.",:'/.,

 

 **ninjutsu master:** wait you mean you guys didn't know i was bi??????

 

 **rotting carcASS:** nO??????? U NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ANYBODY dHBWJQGHEjfw

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** guuuuKUKDUKDUKd whYw

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** i feel emotionally molested

 

 **minholly:** Mood tho ^

 

 **ninjutsu master:** tf jin? ur always saying the thing so i thought you knew at least

 

 **rotting carcASS:** I WAS JUST BEING A SHITTY TEASING DAD I DiDN'T THINK U ACTu

 

 **rotting carcASS:** wait

 

 **rotting carcASS:** i knew??

 

 **mecha-dong:** ???????

 

 **rotting carcASS:** knew what???????????/???????/?/????

 

 **schorfle:** ??????????????????????????????????????????////////

 

**rotting carcASS:**

 

 **rotting carcASS:** wAIT A SECOND

 

 **rotting carcASS:** R U SAYIGN WHAT I THINK UR SAYING

 

 **schorfle:** hhhhhh saying what?

 

 **ninjutsu master:** nothINGG

 

**rotting carcASS:**

 

**rotting carcASS:**

 

 **rotting carcASS:** OH MY GOD JEON JEONGGUK

 

 **rotting carcASS:** ARE YOU SERIOUS

 

 **schorfle:**????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

 **rotting carcASS:** DON'T FUCK AROUND WITH ME, U BETTER TELL ME THE TRUTH

 

 **rotting carcASS:** u rLY DO?????!?!?!?

 

 **ninjutsu master:** fuck

 

 **minholly:** tf are u talking about

 

 **ninjutsu master:** yes okay?? now stop talking about it

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** why do i hear seokjin screeching from across the dorm

 

 **rotting carcASS:** HSIOHDOSINFOIJSNREORFV EWJOW FMK EVKCEW F OH MY FUCKING GOD JEONGGUK I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **minholly:** what in the literal fuck r u 2 on about

 

 **#notasidehoe:** why am i not being let in on this action

 

 **schorfle:** same ):

 

 **ninjutsu master:** seokjin ew ur the worst dad

 

 **rotting carcASS**  has changed **ninjutsu master** 's name to **junglebook in love♥!**!

 

 **junglebook in love♥!:** seokjin what the fuck

 

 **#notasidehoe:** in lOVE?!?!?1

 

 **minholly:** lmfao

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** wh? cuz he wants a dick in his ass? i'm pretty sure wanting to be fucked and being in love are two different things hyung

 

 **rotting carcASS:** IT'S A LONG STORY BUT TRUST ME LITTLE JINGLE CUCK HERE IS IN LOOOOOVE

 

 **junglebook in love♥!:** seriously seokjin you weren't supposed to say anything

 

 **junglebook in love♥!:** this wasn't your secret to tell

 

 **junglebook in love♥!:** you need to keep your nose out of shit that isn't any of your fucking business

 

 **junglebook in love♥!:** and if you're wondering, yes, i'm genuinely pissed off

 

 **junglebook in love♥!** has left the group!

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** ...):

 

 **mecha-dong:** okay i don't know what's going on but if you weren't supposed to tell anyone that isn't cool jin

 

 **rotting carcASS:** ugh i know i was just excited

 

 **rotting carcASS:** it's been a long time since jeongguk's liked anyone

 

 **rotting carcASS:** i didn't know he'd get so angry about it

 

 **#notasidehoe:** even so hyung you should probably apologize to kook

 

 **#notasidehoe:** in person

 

 **rotting carcASS:** yep, gonna go do that

 

 **rotting carcASS:** brb

 

 **rotting carcASS** has gone afk!

 

 **schorfle:** honestly i'm kinda upset

 

 **schorfle:** guk's my best friend, and he didn't even tell me anything about liking someone

 

 **minholly:** maybe he was just nervous to tell anyone

 

 **minholly:** i mean you saw how he reacted

 

 **schorfle:** yeah and i know he should tell me on his own terms but it still hurts yknow

 

 **mecha-dong:** i wouldn't take it personally, guk was obviously stressing hella hard over this

 

 **schorfle:** yeah :(

 

 **#notasidehoe:** "hella" wtf joon

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** i hope gukkie isn't hurting too bad over this

 

 **schorfle:** me too it sucks when he's sad

 

 **#notasidehoe:** so we're just gonna ignore the fact that namjoon used hella unironically

 

**•○•**

 

Seokjin can't help but to sigh as he runs his fingers through his hair, striding down the hallway towards Jeongguk's room. He really didn't mean any harm in what he said; he didn't realize Jeongguk was so sensitive about the topic. Now that Seokjin thinks back on it, that assumption was a stupid one to make, anyway. It's Taehyung. Jeongguk's best friend. Of course he's going to be insecure about it. Seokjin can't imagine all of the self-doubt planted into the poor boy's mind because of something he can't control.

 

The eldest delivers three swift knocks unto Jeongguk's door, biting into the hardness of his fingernail as nerves attempt to localize in his stomach. Seokjin doesn't let them; he quickly pushes them back to wherever they came from, the notion almost clockwork from the sheer number of times he's done it before. He acts as if he’s always full of confidence, but he has his doubts and nerves, too. A lot of people don’t realize that, and it’s beyond frustrating when he’s just _expected_ to be perfect.

 

“Go away,” Jeongguk calls from inside, his tone laced with dejection. Seokjin frowns, opening the door and entering the room despite Jeongguk’s objections. Jeongguk turns away from him immediately when he closes the door, crossing his arms.

 

“Jeongguk, please. I’m so sorry,” Seokjin pleads, slowly approaching the small looking boy on the bed. “I’m not going to give you excuses. I shouldn’t have done that.”

 

Jeongguk sighs, turning slightly toward him. He seems contempted, his top lip curled inward as he worries it between his teeth. “You’re right. What you did was a _dick_ move.”

 

“Yeah. You just… worry me sometimes, you know?” Seokjin mumbles, prompting a confused glance from the maknae. Seokjin sighs, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck before going on. “Sometimes you just… don’t seem very _happy_ , like, you get this blank look and you just look like you’ve just… left your body. It scares the _shit_ out of me.”

 

Jeongguk looks down, brows furrowed. His mouth opens and closes many times before any sound comes out; when it does, his voice cracks. “I just get so _tired_ , hyung. I know I’ve had all these opportunities, and my life is much better than a lot of others, so I shouldn’t be complaining, but I just get so _sick_ of it sometimes. And to have this on top of it… it’s too much.”

 

Seokjin breaks at that, flitting over to the bed and pulling the teary-eyed Jeongguk into a hug. Jeongguk stiffens for a moment, but quickly melts into his side, clutching onto his shirt as he shakes with silent sobs. “Guk… say it. Out loud. It’ll make you feel better, I promise.”

 

Jeongguk sniffles, not saying anything for a long time. Seokjin feels like he’s on the verge of crying, but he’s not going to, he _refuses_ to. He’s going to have to stay a pillar for Jeongguk, something concrete to ground him.

 

“I…” Jeongguk starts, breathing deeply in and out. “I’m… in love with Taehyung.” Jeongguk shudders, anxiety seeming to bleed out of him in small but increasing amounts while Seokjin kneads the heels of his palms into his chakras.

 

“Good. It’s okay, Guk. It’s okay,” Seokjin soothes, mumbling gentle words into his hair, matching his breathing with the brunette’s own. “You’re fine. You don’t have to worry about it. Just tell him when you’re ready. And if you’ll never be ready, that’s okay too.”

 

**•○•**

 

**slut drop inc.**

 

 **schorfle** has added **S34GU11** to **slut drop inc.**!

 

 **schorfle** has changed their name to **#1 jeon jeongguk stan**!

 

 **S34GU11:** wha

 

 **#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** ik u were mad BUT IF U WANNA GET THE SUCC I SUPPORT U

 

 **MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** chase ur dreams jjk!!!

 

 **minholly:** should we really be encouraging this

 

 **mecha-dong:** stfu

 

 **S34GU11:** eh i’m not rly mad now

 

 **S34GU11:** i overreacted anyway

 

 **#notasidehoe:**  nah fam, u just wana get that pleasant s u c c

 

 **#notasidehoe:** ur brofam understands

 

**rotting carcASS:** honestly die jimin

 

**mecha-dong:** honestly die jimin

 

**#notasidehoe:** what

 

**rotting carcASS:** what

 

**mecha-dong:** what

 

**S34GU11** has changed their name to  **horse cocc** !

 

**MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** well that’s a bit too kinky for my tastes

 

**minholly:** what even are your tastes

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

 

**rotting carcASS:** ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

 

**#notasidehoe:** ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

 

**horse cocc:** ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

 

**mecha-dong:** honestly i don’t even wanna know anymore

 

**horse cocc:** i know some of hoseok-hyung’s kinks

 

**minholly** has changed their name to  **intruder** !

 

**MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:** hahah yeah right

 

**horse cocc:** he likes bondage, degradation, and dom/sub stuff ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

 

**MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:**

 

**MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:**

 

**MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:**

 

**MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET:**

 

**MEIn BRITCHES HATH FILLED WITH SPaGHET** has left the group!

 

**rotting carcASS:**

 

**#notasidehoe:**

 

**mecha-dong:**

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:**

 

**#notasidehoe:** ahHAHhahahAhaHaHahhahahahnajBJSAjsbjsabsj

 

**mecha-dong:** LMFAO WHAT THE FUCK

 

**rotting carcASS:** THAT’S SO KINKY HOT DAMN WHERE DID ANGEL HOBI GO

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** OMFG KOOKS HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT

 

**horse cocc:** hyung doesn’t delete his browser history (◕‿◕✿)

 

**rotting carcASS:** oh my fucking god jeongguk ur the best son i ever had

 

**#sopesquad**

 

**sope trash taetae:** yoongi just conveniently disappeared after that

 

**sope trash taetae:** how much u wanna bet he gonna jerk

 

**sope trash minnie:** omfg probably

 

**sope trash jinnie:** god they’re such hoes

 

**sope trash jinnie:** they needa fuck already goddamn

 

**sope trash gukkie:** true

 

**•○•**

 

**slut drop inc.**

 

**mecha-dong** has changed their name to  **thimble** !

 

**rotting carcASS:** same tbh

 

**horse cocc** has added  **where’s my shoe** to  **slut drop inc.** !

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** wassup hobi

 

**intruder:** hi hoseok

 

**where’s my shoe:** ugh i was out buying myself a birthday present since SOME PEOPLE forgot

 

**#notasidehoe:** maybe i’ll just buy you a ball gag

 

**where’s my shoe:** (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

 

**thimble:** sweet lord jesus my phONE

 

**where’s my shoe** has changed their name to  **kris kringle** !

 

**kris kringle:** seriously why am i the only one getting attacked, i’m sure you guys are worse than me

 

**intruder:** idk degradation is pretty kinky tho

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** now that i think about it i know some kinks jeongguk has

 

**horse cocc:** well i know yours so

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** truce?

 

**horse cocc:** truce

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:**

 

**horse cocc:**

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** JEOnGGUK LIKES EDGING AND SENSORY DEPRIVATION

 

**horse cocc:** TAEHYUNG LIKES COLLARS AND GOING INTO SUBSPACE

 

**thimble:**

 

**rotting carcASS:** ...wow

 

**intruder:** that was something i never wanted to know

 

**kris kringle:** that was the most magical thing i’ve ever seen

 

**#notasidehoe:** hahahha u guys are such hoes

 

**thimble:** wtf r u talking about

 

**thimble:** ur way worse

 

**thimble:** s &m is way kinkier than edging and shit

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** e x p o s e d

 

**horse cocc:** i wish i could kinkshame you tbh

 

**#notasidehoe:** I DEMAND PROOF

 

**thimble:** i have plenty and you fucking know it

 

**#notasidehoe** has muted all chat notifications!

 

**rotting carcASS:** i love seeing everyone expose each other it’s truly restoring my faith in humanity

 

**•○•**

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** juNGKOOKIE OPPA SLANEGHAEYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

 

**horse cocc:** oppa will never notice u

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** but pls we're besties 5evr

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan:** we have a scret handshake and evrythin

 

**horse cocc:** soz taehyung i have thicc cocc now i have no use for u

 

**#1 jeon jeongguk stan** has changed their name to  **#1 wen junhui stan** !

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** i'm just gonna casually go slip outta this chat and into the diamond life

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** i sense that there's better days waiting for me on the other side

 

**#1 wen junhui stan** has renamed  **slut drop inc.** to  **Clean Christian Roblox Server™** !

 

**#1 wen junhui stan** has muted all chat notifications!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Friday, February 16 at 20.00 CT (8 p.m. central)


	3. cursed whispers upon air currents almost numbingly silent.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> honestly this chapter is 30% bts fanboying about other groups and 70% namjoon being tsundere as fuck because i’m vigorously Projecting™
> 
> also if it wasn’t obvious before, the “•○•” represents a timeskip (:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weekly Refresh  
>    
> jeongguk - horse cocc  
> taehyung - #1 wen junhui stan  
> jimin - #notasidehoe  
> namjoon - thimble  
> hoseok - kris kringle  
> yoongi - intruder  
> seokjin - rotting carcASS

 

**Clean Christian Roblox Server™**

 

**rotting carcASS** has changed  **#notasidehoe** ’s name to  **rancid pile of shit** !

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** hahahahahahahah

 

**rancid pile of shit:** fuck u succjin

 

**rancid pile of shit** has changed  **rotting carcASS** ’s name to  **oppar salaghae!!1!** !

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** hahahhahaha

 

**•○•**

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** sometimes u gotta bleed to know

 

**horse cocc:** that ur alive and have a soul

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** but it takes someone to come around

 

**horse cocc:** to show you how

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** she's the tear in my heart

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** ...u guys are gross

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** appreaciate top or die

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** i choose die

 

**thimble:** which colour

 

**rancid pile of shit:** joon why

 

**kris kringle:** Oh, well, imagine,

As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,

And I can't help but to hear—

No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words,

 

"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding," says a bridesmaid to the waiter,

"And, yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore."

 

I chime in with a

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"

No, it's much better to face these kinds of things

With a sense of poise and rationality.

I chime in,

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"

No, it's much better to face these kinds of things

With a sense of...

 

Oh, well, in fact,

Well, I'll look at it this way,

I mean technically our marriage is saved,

Well, this calls for a toast.

So, pour the champagne.

 

Oh, well, in fact,

Well, I'll look at it this way,

I mean technically our marriage is saved,

Well, this calls for a toast,

So, pour the champagne, pour the champagne!

 

I chime in with a

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"

No, it's much better to face these kinds of things

With a sense of poise and rationality.

I chime in,

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"

No, it's much better to face these kinds of things

With a sense of poise and rationality again

 

I chime in,

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"

No, it's much better to face these kinds of things

With a sense of poise and rationality.

I chime in,

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"

No, it's much better to face these kinds of things

With a sense of poise and rationality again...

 

**intruder:** what in thine fucc

 

**kris kringle:** copy and pasted

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** p us s y

 

**thimble:** honestly hoseok never do that again

 

**kris kringle:** i just wanted to fit it with the Cool Emo Kids™

 

**kris kringle:** stop attacking me

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** ur fun to attacc

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** when u get roasted u get this twisty scrunchy face

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** it's so cute

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** true true

 

**kris kringle:** don't make fun of me that's just my disgusted face because your roasts suck

 

**thimble:** are u sure it isn't just ur disgusting face?

 

**rancid pile of shit:**

 

**rancid pile of shit:** jOON

 

**intruder:** did namjoon just... genuinely roast him?

 

**horse cocc:** what the fuck is going on

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** this gc is bringing out sides of u guys that i never knew u had in u

 

**kris kringle:** i'd be offended but honestly at this point i'd rather go play mario kart

 

**kris kringle:** kringle out

 

**intruder:** bye hobi

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** hehehehehe

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** heheheheh

 

**horse cocc:** hehehehehehhehe

 

**rancid pile of shit:** heheheh

 

**thimble:** that was... mildly disturbing

 

**thimble:** tf are u four planning

 

**intruder:** i'm gonna go see if hoseok will let me join

 

**intruder:** seeya losers

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** hHEHEhehehEHe

 

**horse cocc:** HEHEHEHEH

 

**rancid pile of shit:** HEHHE

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** HEHEHEHEEEHHEheHEHEHEHHEHEehHE

 

**thimble:** fuck this imma go wank

 

**rancid pile of shit:** without me? )':

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** bitch disGUSTIN

 

**thimble:** get ur ass in here u piece of shit

 

**rancid pile of shit:** love u too :* ♥♥♥

 

**horse cocc:** hey has anyone seen my green scarf

 

**•○•**

 

**kris kringle:** okay but like… why do they never give hoseok a shirt

 

**thimble:** ...did you just refer to yourself in the third person

 

**kris kringle:** NO U STUPID BITCH

 

**kris kringle:** SHIN HOSEOK

 

**kris kringle:** WONHO

 

**kris kringle:** DUMBASS

 

**rancid pile of shit:** don’t call my joonie a stupid bitch ):<

 

**thimble:** stfu stupid bitch

 

**rancid pile of shit:** i’m filing for divorce

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** honestly does he even know how to put on shirts at this point or does he have an assistant to do it for him???

 

**intruder:** but isn’t it better for everyone to see those godly arms tho

 

**horse cocc:** i… did not expect yoongi to say that

 

**rancid pile of shit:** he isn’t wrong tho

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:**

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** he’s super pure and a precious cinnamon roll and an enormous dork, but like… yall cant deny those arms man

 

**kris kringle:** preach

 

**horse cocc:** if i had wet dreams about 400% of them would be about shin hoseok

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** we all would, let’s be honest here

 

**rancid pile of shit:** sorry joon but he’s right

 

**thimble:** i don’t even care about your whoring around anymore, you know this

 

**thimble:** i’m just in this relationship for the ass and free food

 

**intruder:** we already knew that too

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** you guys are such couple goals

 

**rancid pile of shit:** : ’’’’’’ )

 

**kris kringle:** okay wtf

 

**kris kringle:** there’s a bird outside

 

**kris kringle:** and it just stared me in the eyes as it shit all over the window

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:**

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** it was jimin

 

**rancid pile of shit:**

 

**horse cocc:** even though i know it’s literally not physically or plausibly possible for that bird to be jimin

 

**horse cocc:** it just like…

 

**horse cocc:** makes sense

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** i totally get u actually

 

**thimble:** can confirm

 

**intruder:** when ur boyfriend exposes u for the pigeon u truly are

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** u say that like it’s happened to u before

 

**intruder:** it has

 

**kris kringle:**

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** ...okay

 

**•○•**

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** can someone giv me a su c c

 

**horse cocc:** jin, you’re asexual

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** oh right

 

**rancid pile of shit:** when u forget ur sexuality on a daily basis bc same

 

**intruder:** yes

 

**kris kringle:** yes

 

**thimble:** jimin what in the literal fuck

 

**thimble:** you’re gayer than literally anyone i know

 

**thimble:** you’d cry like a little girl if someone showed you their vagina

 

**thimble:** so how tf would you “forget”

 

**rancid pile of shit:** stop attacking me i was trying to be funny

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** you’re never funny

 

**horse cocc:** tru tho

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** hehehe

 

**horse cocc:** seriously jin

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** i will never stop

 

**intruder:** what

 

**kris kringle:** okay i have a question for y’all

 

**kris kringle:** whoever gives the best answer gets my last box of pocky

 

**thimble:** aight

 

**kris kringle:** the question isssssss

 

**kris kringle:** ummm

 

**thimble:** do u even know what the question is

 

**kris kringle:** nah just making this shit up on the spot

 

**kris kringle:** ooooh wait

 

**kris kringle:** what kpop idol/actor do you think looks most like he could be a disney prince?

 

**intruder:** park junhee

 

**intruder:**

 

**intruder:** done and done

 

**kris kringle:** yoongi wins

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:**

 

**horse cocc:**

 

**thimble:**

 

**rancid pile of shit:**

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:**

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** honestly i’m not even mad about losing because it’s so true

 

**rancid pile of shit:** ...agreed

 

**horse cocc:** agreed x2

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** agreed x3

 

**thimble:** agreed x4

 

**intruder:** hahahahahahaha bow down before me

 

**kris kringle:** enjoy your pocky bro

 

**intruder:** thanks bro

 

**kris kringle:** :*

 

**intruder:** :*

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** that was disgustingly domestic

 

**horse cocc:** it’s part of the bro code

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:** yeah, always congratulate ur bro on winning (even if ur a little salty)

 

**intruder:** oh shit wait i forgot

 

**intruder:** i was supposed to meet with sihyuk today

 

**intruder:** fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:**

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:**

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:**

 

**#1 wen junhui stan:**

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** i shoulda disowned you while i had the chance damn

 

**intruder:** bitch bye

 

**intruder** has gone afk!

 

**kris kringle:** well

 

**kris kringle:** i still have the pocky

 

**kris kringle:** and taehyung wins by proxy

 

**thimble:** how in tf

 

**rancid pile of shit:** that’s rly unfair

 

**rancid pile of shit:** why does he win

 

**kris kringle:** because i like him better than you

 

**#1 wen junhui stan** has changed their name to  **#1 jung hoseok stan** !

 

**horse cocc:** hahahahahahah

 

**thimble:**

 

**rancid pile of shit:**

 

**rancid pile of shit:** touche

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** it honestly makes more sense than sm giving baekhyun a MULLET

 

**kris kringle:** they did him dirty

 

**horse cocc:** very true

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** you know what pisses me off is that even though they styled him to look like absolute trailer park trash he STILL LOOKS HOT AS SHIT

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** IT’S ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING, HOW DOES ANY HUMAN PULL OFF A FUCKING MULLET AND MAKE IT LOOK GOOD

 

**horse cocc:** he’s not human

 

**thimble:** valid argument

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** are we ever going to actually do anything productive in this chat or

 

**rancid pile of shit:** no

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** no

 

**horse cocc:** no

 

**thimble:** no

 

**kris kringle:** no

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** good to know

 

**•○•**

 

**horse cocc** changed their name to  **jesus-kun** !

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** u little bitfhc u wanna fite???

 

**jesus-kun:** i’m sorry dad i just wanted to be an Edgy™ anime protag

 

**kris kringle:** i support u jesus-kun

 

**jesus-kun:** ( ‘ : true angel

 

**rancid pile of shit:** stfu jimin

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** did you just tell yourself to shut up

 

**rancid pile of shit:** well i figured no matter what i say joon would tell me to shut up so i did it myself

 

**thimble:** stfu jimin

 

**rancid pile of shit:** i can’t win with you can i

 

**thimble:** no

 

**kris kringle:** tbh i don’t know how you guys are still together

 

**kris kringle:** literally it’s just been three years of you guys bullying each other

 

**jesus-kun:** you guys got a toxic ass relationship

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** yall need couples therapy tbh

 

**rancid pile of shit:** u don’t think i know that? i’ve had to endure joon’s rude ass for years now

 

**thimble:** but we all know you won’t break up with me

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** he’s too whipped to cut it off

 

**intruder:** we all know that namjoon’s secretly like super in love with jimin tho, he’s just a tsundere bitch about it

 

**kris kringle:** oh yoongi’s back

 

**kris kringle:** also true

 

**kris kringle:** namjoon is literally the definition of tsundere boyfriend

 

**thimble:** u wanna die little bitch

 

**kris kringle:** i’m your hyung

 

**kris kringle:** so shut the fuck up u lil twat

 

**kris kringle:** before i beat your ass

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** i love it when hoseok pulls the hyung card

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** same

 

**jesus-kun:** same

 

**intruder:** same

 

**rancid pile of shit:** same

 

**thimble:**

 

**thimble:**

 

**thimble:** ...same

 

**•○•**

 

**#sopesquad**

 

**sope trash taetae:** LISTEN UP YALL BIATCHES

 

**sope trash taetae:** IT’S BEEN TOO LONG WITHOUT ANY DEVELOPMENT

 

**sope trash taetae:** wE NEED IDEAS PEOPLE

 

**sope trash jinnie:** ack i knowww

 

**sope trash minnie:** i’d input but tbh my solution is just forcing them to fuck each other so

 

**sope trash taetae:** IT’S GOOD, BUT NOT SUBTLE ENOUGH

 

**sope trash gukkie:** hmm, can’t we just all go out to eat and “accidentally” forget hoseok and yoongi

 

**sope trash minnie:** we should “accidentally” lock them inside the bedroom

 

**sope trash jinnie:** so that they can “accidentally” get the succ

 

**sope trash taetae:** HOOO YALL ARE ON A ROLL

 

**sope trash taetae:** I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU GUYS

 

**•○•**

 

**Clean Christian Roblox Server™**

 

**kris kringle:** hey guys

 

**kris kringle:** me and yoongi were working on a song and now the door’s locked

 

**kris kringle:** can you guys come unlock it

 

**kris kringle:** guys?

 

**intruder:** usually they respond immediately

 

**kris kringle:** ik, wtf?

 

**•○•**

 

**kris kringle:** okay it’s been twenty minutes, where are you guys

 

**intruder:** if this is a prank it isn’t funny, i really need to pee

 

**kris kringle:** dude i don’t think they’re coming

 

**•○•**

 

Yoongi is  _ pissed _ .

 

He should have known something was up when the dorm suddenly went quiet, the usual sounds of the rambunctious group suddenly ceasing. Of course, he had been distracted; producing a song with the person you’ve been in love with for years just hanging over your shoulder and breathing on your neck is distracting in itself. Even Hoseok’s presence behind him made Yoongi want to fling his headphones to the side and latch onto his shirt, pushing him onto the bed and kissing him stupid. He wished that he could taste every inch of the younger man’s body, trace the planes of his stomach with his tongue. He wished he could stick his tongue down Hoseok’s throat, clutching his dark locks as Yoongi rode him with only the sounds of muffled moans, heavy breathing, praises from their lips, and slick skin filling the room. He wished he could bask in the way Hoseok would worship every inch of Yoongi’s pale skin, gripping his waist and helping to push him down with every cant of the older male’s hips. He wished he could, but alas, that’s not how it works. He could only suffer in relative silence, pressing his thighs together under the table, arousal unseen and discomfort unnoticed. At least he can take solace in his restraint, lips parted and cursed whispers upon air currents almost numbingly silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly how am i even keeping up with this thus far??? the next chapters are probably gonna be slightly shorter but bear with me please (:
> 
> Next chapter: Friday, February 23 at 20.00 CT (8 p.m. central time)


	4. #JUSTICEFORTAEHYUNG'SMIXTAPE2K18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i decided to post this a day early because of what i'm about to say (in apology basically) and because i will not have wifi tomorrow to post it ^^;;;
> 
> sooo..... we have a new friend joining us today!! i'm sorry yall i'm weak
> 
> this is gonna feature people from other groups from now on! i may write spinoff stories in this same universe with the other groups (: they'll most likely be short little things or ideas i have, but will be stuff that doesn't fit with the main story. idk if this is a good idea but imma do it anyway lmfao
> 
> you'll figure out who the new person is by looking at the tags but it is Lee Minhyuk from Monsta X! there will also be a new friend from a different group coming along next chapter, and i'm working on the spinoff for that group already as well (:::::
> 
> this is probably too much, but i want a place i can put down all of my ideas for this universe, so it'll be a series/collection :D
> 
> hope this doesn't bother you guys too much!!
> 
> EDIT: I POSTED THIS AT EIGHT AND IT DIDNT POST I'M CRYINF EH PPL PROBABLY WEREN'T GONNA SEE THIS ANYW AYXU EWYHWS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weekly Refresh  
>    
> jeongguk: jesus-kun  
> taehyung: #1 jung hoseok stan  
> jimin: rancid pile of shit  
> namjoon: thimble  
> hoseok: kris kringle  
> yoongi: intruder  
> seokjin: oppar salaghae!!1!

 

**Clean Christian Roblox Server™**

 

**thimble:** sorry my phone was off i didn’t see these messages

 

**kris kringle:** you guys are assholes, yoongi almost pissed himself because you guys were stupid and forgot us

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** it’s not our fault you’re easily forgettable

 

**rancid pile of shit:** insert airhorn noises here

 

**jesus-kun:** that roast tho damnnnnn

 

**kris kringle:** that one hurt my soul

 

**intruder:** i swear to god you guys are giving me the fantods

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** what the hell is a fantod

 

**intruder:** I   A  M   F  E  E  L  I  N  G   A  T  T  A  C  K  E  D   Y  O  U   S  T  U  P  I  D   P  I  E  C  E   O  F   S  H  I  T

 

**rancid pile of shit:** lol ur so lame

 

**intruder** has changed their name to  **Idiot Police ! !** !

 

**Idiot Police ! !** has muted  **rancid pile of shit** for:  **06 hours** !

 

**thimble:** hahahahahhahahaha

 

**thimble:** the little shit deserved it

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** you’re such a caring boyfriend

 

**jesus-kun:** truly goals ♥

 

**thimble:** <3

 

**•○•**

 

**jesus-kun:** okay don't @ me but

 

**jesus-kun:** now that i think about it

 

**jesus-kun:** remember when hoseok was giving the pocky to who answered the best to his question

 

**jesus-kun:** yoongi answered literally seconds afterward

 

**jesus-kun:** taking into consideration how long it would take to download a picture then send it on sylchat, doesn’t that mean that yoongi would have to have that pic saved onto his phone??

 

**jesus-kun:** so yoongi just has a picture of jun on his phone for... research????????

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** HAHAHAHAHAH

 

**thimble:** e x p o S E D d

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** wow what a detective

 

**jesus-kun:** i’m the next sherlock holmes

 

**kris kringle:** lmfao yoongi where u at

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** come back

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** p u s s y

 

**thimble:** hmm he just conveniently locked his door

 

**jesus-kun:** HAHAHAHHAHHAHA

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** all of my sons are whores what is life anymore i hate being a dad

 

**thimble:** we hate you too don’t worry

 

**#1 jung hoseok stan:** :*

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!** has changed **thimble** ’s name to  **disowned egg bitch** !

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!** has changed  **#1 jung hoseok stan** ’s name to  **disappointment** !

 

**disappointment:** : '' )

 

**•○•**

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** omg guys

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** so i was walking earlier

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** and guess what i saw

 

**jesus-kun:** what

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** a peepee hut!!!!

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** tEEPEE*

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** NO I MEANT TEEPEE

 

**kris kringle:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

**oppar salaghae!!1!:** nO

 

**Idiot Police ! !** has changed  **oppar salaghae!!1!** ’s name to  **peepee hut jr’s** !

 

**disappointment:** I CAN’T fUCKIN BREATHE

 

**kris kringle:** YOONGI OMFG

 

**kris kringle:** IM CRYIng

 

**disowned egg bitch:** if this typing mistake is not the literal epitome of seokjin’s personality as a whole i don’t know what is

 

**jesus-kun:** i am unafraid to say that seokjin is a fucking idiot

 

**kris kringle:** agreed

 

**Idiot Police ! !:** agreed x2

 

**peepee hut jr’s:** you all can fucking choke

 

**Idiot Police ! !:** that’s my line you stupid bitch

 

**peepee hut jr’s:** i raise you little shits and this is how u repay me?

 

**peepee hut jr’s:** the d I S R E S P E C T

 

**•○•**

 

**disappointment:** yknow i still have my old mixtape from like three years ago

 

**Idiot Police ! !:** no, we will not listen to it or play it in any public setting

 

**disowned egg bitch:** that would give us psychological damage and would also damage our pride

 

**kris kringle:** we'd probably have to bleach the ears of everyone in the vicinity

 

**peepee hut jr's:** honestly i wanna bleach my ears from hearing jimin and namjoon last night, so bleaching ears ain't new to me

 

**rancid pile of shit:** excuse me namjoon and i are fuckin musical

 

**disappointment:** why do y'all always attack me like this

 

**disappointment:** i just wanted to be a cypher fanboy in peace :c

 

**jesus-kun:** i'd buy your mixtape

 

**jesus-kun:** and even if it's shit and i laugh at you

 

**rancid pile of shit:** it would definitely be shit, there isn't an "even if"

 

**jesus-kun:** i'd still get the hashtag #JUSTICEFORTAEHYUNG'SMIXTAPE2K18 tranding on twitter :p

 

**Idiot Police ! !:** what the fuck is a tranding

 

**peepee hut jr's:** hEHHEHEEH KOOK I SEE U I SEE U

 

**jesus-kun:** die bitch die

 

**kris kringle:** what

 

**disappointment:** i couldn't ask for a better friend (':

 

**flowerchild** has created a chatroom!

 

**flowerchild** has renamed  **Unnamed Chatroom** to  **age gap incorporated** !

 

**flowerchild** has changed their name to  **GODSEND** !

 

**GODSEND** has added  **S34GU11** to the group!

 

**GODSEND:** HAHA FRIENDZONED

 

**S34GU11:** literally burn in hell

 

**S34GU11:** and what, you're so unoriginal you couldn't even come up with your own chatroom name so you stole it from tae?

 

**GODSEND** has changed  **S34GU11** 's name to  **cunt toad** !

 

**cunt toad:** i can see you're also not creative in the slightest

 

**GODSEND:** if y ou don 't s hut yo u r fro ggy a ss c hi n bubb le t he fu ck up yo u will fu ck ing ca tc h th e s e hand s fu ckin g w a tch m e

 

**cunt toad:** i'll catch the hands you throw at me and smack them back on your wrinkly ass face

 

**GODSEND:** fucki ndiE

 

**•○•**

 

**peepee hut jr's:** yo im at mcdong's yall want anythin or

 

**disappointment:** m c d o n g ' s

 

**Idiot Police ! !:** i'll eat whatever you get

 

**kris kringle:** can i just have a sammmmmmmmmiiiiiiiiichhhhhhhhhhh

 

**jesus-kun** has changed  **kris kringle** 's name to  **sammich enthusiast** !

 

**sammich enthusiast:** well u ain't wrong

 

**disappointment:** just fries and a strawberry banana smoothie pls dad ty ily

 

**rancid pile of shit** has changed their name to  **shrek's husband** !

 

**disowned egg bitch:** wait doesnt that mean that im shrek

 

**shrek's husband:** mmm yes i love your fat green ogre cock

 

**Idiot Police ! !:** ew

 

**peepee hut jr’s:** EXC USE ME DO U KNO W HOW OT FUCKI NG REA D?? THI S IS A CHRIST IAN-ASS CLEAN ASS R OBLOX S ERVER AND I W ILL NOT TOLER ATE UR PROFAN ITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**shrek's husband:** fuck off seokjin

 

**shrek's husband:** we don't need ur shitty parenting anyway

 

**peepee hut jr’s** has changed their name to  **DADDY** !

 

**DADDY:** this bitch got the auDACITY

 

**DADDY:** i'VE RAISED YOU STUPID LITTLE hEATHENS FOR YEARS

 

**DADDY:** I'VE BEEN A STRESSED-ASS SINGLE DAD JUST SO I COULD SEE YOU FUKCERS ACHIEVE SHIT

 

**DADDY:** AND THIS IS HOW U REPAY ME???

 

**shrek's husband:** yes

 

**DADDY:** u kno what

 

**DADDY:** fuck this

 

**DADDY:** i'm the maknae now

 

**DADDY** has changed their name to  **♥cute baby♥** !

 

**♥cute baby♥:** jeongguk ur promoted u little fucker

 

**jesus-kun:** (: <

 

**♥cute baby♥:** i immediately regret this decision

 

**disappointment:** he's gonna roast the shit outta u without consequence you realize that rite

 

**♥cute baby♥:** i've accepted my fate

 

**Idiot Police ! !:** can you like die a quiet death tho

 

**sammich enthusiast:** yeah i kinda need to write these lyrics

 

**disowned egg bitch:** and i'm working on my verse which requires no distracting screaming

 

**♥cute baby♥:** none of you deserve me

 

**shrek's husband:** we never wanted u in the first place

 

**♥cute baby♥:** that one stung

 

**disappointment:** i still love u dad )':

 

**♥cute baby♥** has changed  **disappointment** 's name to  **completely competent role model** !

 

**♥cute baby♥** has changed their name to  **proud father** !

 

**proud father:** taehyung is my only son

 

**proud father:** namjoon, jimin, hoseok, yoongi, jeongguk?

 

**proud father:** who're they?

 

**proud father:** never heard of them

 

**proud father:** tae pack your bags we're moving to fucking alaska

 

**completely competent role model:** can i be lisa

 

**proud father:** ...u sly little shit

 

**proud father:** ur getting a saxophone for ur birthday

 

**proud father:** none of the rest of yall are getting annything

 

**Idiot Police ! !:** k

 

**sammich enthusiast:** k

 

**disowned egg bitch:** k

 

**jesus-kun:** k

 

**shrek's husband:** k

 

**proud father:**

 

**proud father:**

 

**proud father:**

 

**proud father:** two saxophones

 

**•○•**

 

**completely competent role model:** okay so guys i' can't stop laughing at this

 

**completely competent role model:** so u know lee minhyuk from monsta x

 

**shrek's husband:** yeah why

 

**completely competent role model:** okay so i don't remember when i got it but i have his sylchat ID

 

**completely competent role model:** and i haven't really talked to him in months

 

**completely competent role model:** it's not like we aren't friends or anything, like we used to exchange memes and shit every so often

 

**completely competent role model:** he's just a funny person in general

 

**proud father:** mhm

 

**completely competent role model:** so i haven't sent any memes and he hasn't either

 

**completely competent role model:** it's been like a few months since we last messaged just because of busy schedules and stuff

 

**completely competent role model:** so i wake up and go to check my notifications and shit

 

**completely competent role model:** and i see that i have seventy fucking missed messages from him

 

**Idiot Police ! !:** why is that weird

 

**completely competent role model:** well the thing is

 

**completely competent role model:** if we were doing our meme exchange it'd be pretty normal tbh

 

**completely competent role model:** like "oh, he sent some dank ass memes, gonna go thru them"

 

**completely competent role model:** but sylchat shows that literally NONE of them were pictures

 

**completely competent role model:** i had 70 TYPED OUT messages from him that he sent at like 4 in the morning

 

**disowned egg bitch:** damn that's commitment

 

**completely competent role model:** okay so it puts me to the last message i read like normal

 

**completely competent role model:** and i spend like twenty minutes reading through all this shit

 

**completely competent role model:** and apparently

 

**completely competent role model:** he was barely drunk enough to function

 

**completely competent role model:** and texted me 68 DIFFERENT cheesy pickup lines

 

**completely competent role model:** and asked me which ones he should use on the person he likes

 

**jesus-kun:** lmfao u should tell him to use all of them at once

 

**sammich enthusiast:** hahahaha yes that's how u reel em in

 

**completely competent role model:** honeslty i don't even know if he wants me to text him back

 

**completely competent role model:** he's probably gonna brush it off but secretly wallow in embarrassment or smth

 

**proud father:** do what kook said and then report back to us

 

**completely competent role model:** aight

 

**leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has renamed  **tae &hyuk** to  **GO GET EM TIGER!!!!** !

 

**leadrapperTAEHYUNG** has changed their name to  **doing the advicing** !

 

**doing the advicing** has changed  **leeminfuCK** 's name to  **getting the advicing** !

 

**doing the advicing:** use every single one of those pick up lines in one sitting

 

**getting the advicing:** Oh my god my head

 

**getting the advicing:** I'm so sorry Taehyung

 

**getting the advicing:** 70 messages oh my god I'm the worst me me buddy ever

 

**doing the advicing:** "me me" honestly same

 

**doing the advicing:** don't worry about it hyungieee (;

 

**doing the advicing:** u just gotta use every single one of those pickup lines at once

 

**doing the advicing:** that's what everyone else said

 

**getting the advicing:** Everyone else???

 

**getting the advicing:** You told the rest of your friends????????????????

 

**doing the advicing:** oof

 

**getting the advicing:** R.I.P. my sanity

 

**getting the advicing:** Okay how do I turn the auto caps and auto correct feature off grrr

 

**doing the advicing:** idk it's somewhere in sylchat's general settings

 

**doing the advicing:** lemme look it up hold on

 

**getting the advicing:** Ahhh thank you thank you

 

**getting the advicing:** My head is killing me right now I don't think I can even type correctly to do a search tbh

 

**getting the advicing:** Auto correct is what's keeping me legible

 

**getting the advicing:** Understandable???

 

**getting the advicing:** I don't know I forgot the word and I don't really care to figure it out right now

 

 **doing the advicing:** Quoted Text:

 

_ "To turn off the automatic capitalization feature in SylChat, go to Settings > Keyboard & Input > Input Settings > Automatic Capitalization and toggle the blue circle to turn it off." _

 

 **doing the advicing:** Quoted Text:

 

_ "Likewise, to turn off the auto correction featurn in SylChat, go to Settings > Keyboard & Input > Input Settings > Automatic Spelling Correction and toggle the blue circle to turn it off." _

 

**doing the advicing:** idk that's from the sylchat website

 

**doing the advicing:** see if they work

 

**getting the advicing:** Alright give me a second

 

**getting the advicing:** omfggmkf thank you ur a life saver

 

**getting the advicing:** that formal ass typihng was not my fortay

 

**doing the advicing:** ...forte

 

**getting the advicing:** stfu

 

**doing the advicing:** so ur gonna use the pickup lines rite

 

**getting the advicing:** hell to the nah

 

**getting the advicing:** imma just tell them how i feel like a mature, respoinsible adult

 

**doing the advicing:** respoinsible

 

**getting the advicing:** stfUU

 

**doing the advicing:** so who is this mystery person anyway

 

**doing the advicing:** is it a cute girll????

 

**doing the advicing:** or perhaps a hot dude??

 

**doing the advicing:** u know i don't judge so

 

**getting the advicing:** its a dude

 

**getting the advicing:** a very hot dude

 

**getting the advicing:** he's so hot and super sweet but he's also oblivious as fuck and it sucks cuz ive liked him for a whike

 

**doing the advicing:** for a while?? is he like a childhood friend or

 

**doing the advicing:** ooOOHH IS HE A PART OF UR GROUP? (͡ ͡° ͜ つ ͡͡°)

 

**getting the advicing:** the latter gggggggggggnnnnnnnnnnhdgffffffffffffffff

 

**doing the advicing:** hEHEHEHEHEEH

 

**doing the advicing:** THAT MEANS I KNOW HIM

 

**doing the advicing:** AND THAT ALSO MEANS I CAN TOTALLY KICK HIS ASS IF HE HURTS U

 

**doing the advicing:** or at least get guk to idk

 

**getting the advicing:** you do realize ur younger than me right

 

**doing the advicing:** DONT GIVE A FCUK

 

**getting the advicing:** fair enough

 

**doing the advicing:** nOooo but srsly tell me who it isssssssssssss

 

**doing the advicing:** oh wait

 

**doing the advicing:** u don't even have to tell me

 

**doing the advicing:** i bet u 20000 won i know who it is

 

**getting the advicing:** okay fine

 

**getting the advicing:** ur on

 

**doing the advicing:** i don't know his name but

 

**doing the advicing:** it's the rlly tall skinny ass dude isn't it

 

**getting the advicing:**

 

**getting the advicing:**

 

**getting the advicing:** ...noooOOoOOoO??

 

**doing the advicing:** hAH

 

**doing the advicing:** I FUCKIN KNEW IT

 

**doing the advicing:** PAY UP MOTHERFCUKRKR

 

**doing the advicing:** yOU GUYS R SO DOMESTIC I THOT U WERE DATING ALREADY

 

**doing the advicing:** BAHAHA

 

**getting the advicing:** fdneijsvbfihwhnvjkwidinfioehwiv fehiov hifeh vjojekeovniofd vo

 

**getting the advicing:** but ho w would you know if we're domestic or not anyway

 

**doing the advicing:** uh duh at isac and shiet

 

**doing the advicing:** you can try to hide your heart eyes but u can't fool this hoe

 

**doing the advicing:** i see u

 

**doing the advicing:** uh

 

**doing the advicing:** insert eyes emoji here cuz idk i can't find it

 

**doing the advicing:** r 0 od

 

**getting the advicing:** ur literally the wrost

 

**getting the advicing:** don't say a fuckin word 

 

**doing the advicing:** /╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\

 

**getting the advicing:** what the actual fuck is that

 

**getting the advicing:** where do u even get those from goddamn

 

**doing the advicing:** IDK

 

**doing the advicing:** ITS LIKE A CUSTOM SHORTCUT FEATURE

 

**getting the advicing:** welp

 

**getting the advicing:** i'm gonna go to sleep cuz my head fuckin hurts and ur too much to deal with when having a migraine

 

**getting the advicing:** one does not battle a headache and kim taehyung at the same time

 

**getting the advicing:** srry but it's just not possible

 

**getting the advicing:** no offsense bro

 

**doing the advicing:** NO OFF SENSE TAKEN

 

**getting the advicing:** why do i talk to u again

 

**doing the advicing:**

 

**doing the advicing:** THIS

 

**getting the advicing:**

 

**getting the advicing:**

 

**getting the advicing:**

 

**getting the advicing:** ...touche

 

**getting the advicing:** k ima go now

 

**getting the advicing:** bye bitchhhh

 

**doing the advicing:** BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

**doing the advicing:** GET UR MAN BB

 

**doing the advicing:** I BELIEVE IN U

 

**getting the advicing:** thx bb

 

**getting the advicing:** gn hoe

 

**doing the advicing:** GN HOE

 


	5. u a s sum ed the i r gen der??? !!?! !/1 !1/ !? !?!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! ! !!\

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short wait, i got caught up with work ( ' ::::
> 
> s O!!!!!!!!!! remember the other new friend i said would be joining us this chapter???? yeah they're here and their name is C H W E H A N S O L because hansol is my precious bb and i love them,, if genderfluid characters bother you then you probably should like,, leave,, cuz hansol is hella genderfluid and nobody can stop me from writing it
> 
> so Oo o o oOo O o yeah that's pretty much it. there will be a short spinoff series with all of the members of seventeen in this universe in their own sylchat escapades so look forward to that!! or maybe not!! you do you!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weekly Refresh 
> 
> jeongguk: jesus-kun  
> taehyung: completely competent role model  
> jimin: shrek's husband  
> namjoon: disowned egg bitch  
> hoseok: sammich enthusiast  
> yoongi: Idiot Police ! !  
> seokjin: proud father

 

**Clean Christian Roblox Server™**

 

**completely competent role model** has added  **hanzol** to  **Clean Christian Roblox Server™** !

 

**hanzol:** what's this for

 

**proud father:** who tf r u

 

**disowned egg bitch:** probably one of taehyung's hooker friends

 

**hanzol:** wait tae u have hooker friends

 

**completely competent role model:** apparently ur one of them

 

**hanzol:**

 

**hanzol:** i can live with that

 

**shrek's husband:** oh it's a fellow hoe

 

**shrek's husband:** i like him already

 

**shrek's husband:** or her

 

**shrek's husband:** which even are u

 

**completely competent role model:** this is chwe hansol

 

**completely competent role model:** vernon from seventeen

 

**jesus-kun:** how do you know literally everybody

 

**sammich enthusiast:** he probably fanboys over different groups and then kidnaps them and forces them to give him their sylchat id

 

**proud father:** doesn't sound too farfetched tbh

 

**hanzol:** lmaooooooooooooooooo

 

**completely competent role model:** no sol

 

**completely competent role model:** don't

 

**hanzol:** heheheheeheheheheeheehheeh

 

**completely competent role model:** pls spare me

 

**hanzol:** the first time tae and i met he locked me in a closet right before an important performance and told me he wouldnt let me out unless i gave him my sylchat id

 

**hanzol:** i had to give it to him and then get to the stage in literally 45 seconds

 

**hanzol:** scariest thing ive ever experienced hands down

 

**hanzol:** and i know lee jihoon

 

**sammich enthusiast:** eXPOSED

 

**disowned egg bitch:** can we just throw taehyung in the trash or smth

 

**shrek's husband:** he's a hoe and he exposes taehyung without a care??

 

**shrek's husband:** sign me the fuck up

 

**disowned egg bitch:** excuse me

 

**shrek's husband:** I'm sorry Hansol Vernon Chwe-ssi, I am going to have to decline your offer. I am a faithful, trustworthy partner in a monogamous relationship with the love of my life and the man of my dreams. I am sorry to disappoint you, but I sincerely hope we can still be friends. Maybe we could have worked out, in a another timeline, another life; but here is where I belong, and it is unfortunately not with you. My deepest regrets and most sincere apologies.

 

**hanzol:** do i even wanna know

 

**completely competent role model:** no

 

**proud father:** no

 

**jesus-kun:** no

 

**sammich enthusiast:** no

 

**Idiot Police ! !:** no

 

**hanzol:** ill keep that in mind

 

**completely competent role model** has changed their name to  **taehyunged** !

 

**taehyunged:** ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

 

**taehyunged:** this is my army of rock squidwards

 

**taehyunged:** bow down fuckers

 

**jesus-kun** has changed their name to  **jung cook** !

 

**jung cook:** can we all change our names to smth easily recognizable bc tbh i don't even know who's speaking half the time and it'd probably be easier for vernon anyway

 

**sammich enthusiast** has changed their name to **hoesock** !

 

**hoesock:** yeah probably

 

**hoesock:** yoongi u too

 

**Idiot Police ! !** has changed their name to  **minyoongitrekt** !

 

**proud father** has changed their name to  **seokjingle** !

 

**shrek's husband:** yoongi why

 

**mingyoongitrekt:** i was put onthe spot okay i pani cked

 

**disowned egg bitch** has changed their name to **noojman** !

 

**shrek's husband:** joon pleasE

 

**noojman:** change ur name hoe

 

**shrek's husband** has changed their name to  **parkjim** !

 

**seokjingle:** well

 

**seokjingle:** i hate this gc more than ever

 

**minyoongitrekt:** same

 

**hoesock:** same

 

**parkjim:** same

 

**noojman:** same

 

**taehyunged:** same

 

**jung cook:** same

 

**hanzol:** "minyoongitrekt"

 

**hanzol:** i really hope that you sincerely regret that

 

**minyoongitrekt:** I DO

 

**parkjim:** dont make fun of him, he's Sensitive™

 

**minyoongitrekt:** shUT uP

 

**seokjingle:** yoongi acts like a commandeering ass but like how much u wanna bet he's a total sub in bed

 

**noojman:** cannot argue

 

**taehyunged:** @hoseok (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

 

**hoesock:** what

 

**jung cook:** heheheeheeh

 

**taehyunged:** ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

 

**hanzol:** okay so i'm just guessing but jung cook is jungkook, noojman is namjoon backwards???, parkjim is jimin, hoesock probably jhope but not sure about that, taehyunged is tae obviously, minyoongitrekt is yoongi/suga, and seokjingle is jin???

 

**hanzol:** correct me if im wrong tho

 

**parkjim:** nah fam they all rite

 

**noojman:** "nah fam" rrly kys

 

**taehyunged:** i'm literally the lamest person ever and even i would never say fam unironically

 

**seokjingle:** i've raised many a son

 

**seokjingle:** but only one is this fucking stupid

 

**seokjingle:** his name is park jimin

 

**minyoongitrekt:** jimin is really stupid to be honest

 

**hanzol:** you guys are a loving ass family

 

**hanzol:** can i join in this seven man orgy or

 

**seokjingle:** he's my favourite of all of your hooker friends taehyung

 

**parkjim:** can we keep him dad

 

**seokjingle:** u dont deserve to call me dad u piece of shit son

 

**seokjingle:** but hell yeah i'm always up for more people in this shitshow

 

**hanzol:** rly? thanks dAd

 

**hanzol:** can i call u dad or is that too far

 

**seokjingle:** i like this one

 

**seokjingle:** im adopting you and you dont have a choice in the matter

 

**hanzol:** if i did have a choice, i'd choose u dadd ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

 

**minyoongitrekt:** honestly i can see why you two are friends

 

**seokjingle:** hansol is my favourite son confirmed

 

**taehyunged:** ( ’’’’’’’’’’’^’’’’’’’’’’’:

 

**hanzol:** actually i'm daughter sorry to disappoint

 

**parkjim:** u a s sum ed the i r gen der??? !!?! !/1 !1/ !? !?!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! ! !!\

 

**taehyunged:** but

 

**taehyunged:** but alaska

 

**seokjingle:** he can be bart

 

**taehyunged:** :D

 

**hanzol:** ???? like bart from the simpsons??

 

**hanzol:** u talking abt the movie?

 

**seokjingle:** inside joke dw about it son

 

**hanzol:** daughter

 

**seokjingle:** inside joke dw about it daughter

 

**parkjim:** okay but like

 

**parkjim:** u never answered my question

 

**noojman:** who

 

**parkjim:** vernon

 

**hanzol:** what question

 

**parkjim:** whether ur a boy or a girl

 

**hanzol:** u? know? who? i? am?

 

**parkjim:** yeah yeah i get it ur chwe hansol 

 

**parkjim:** but like

 

**parkjim:** are you

 

**parkjim:** a boy

 

**parkjim:** or a girl

 

**hanzol:** ohhhh

 

**taehyunged:** we've been friends for a while and even i don't know that

 

**taehyunged:** oh shit sorry if i've been misgendering u all this time

 

**hanzol:** nah bro dw about it

 

**taehyunged:** honestly i refer to everything as "dude" regardless of gender or if it's even a living thing

 

**taehyunged:** like, jeongguk is dude

 

**taehyunged:** hannah montana is dude

 

**taehyunged:** the faucet is dude

 

**taehyunged:** this piece of cardboard is dude

 

**taehyunged:** no matter what it is

 

**taehyunged:** it is dude

 

**taehyunged:** like...

 

**taehyunged:** ya feel

 

**hoesock:** but like honeslty same tho

 

**minyoongitrekt:** relate

 

**seokjingle:** i call everyone bitch does that count

 

**jung cook:** oof

 

**parkjim:** bUT U STILL HAVENT ANSWERED

 

**noojman:** vernon u should probably answer before jimin has an aneurysm on my dick

 

**seokjingle:** you are texting the gc

 

**seokjingle:** w h i l e f u c k i n g ? ? ?

 

**parkjim:** yes now answer the goddamn question

 

**hanzol:** calm thine titties

 

**hanzol:** i'm genderfluid if u must know

 

**hanzol:** so like... dont worry about it for real

 

**hanzol:** if it's a problem i'll just correct u tbh

 

**seokjingle:** oh wait

 

**seokjingle:** so when u said daughter earlier u were for reals?

 

**noojman:** "for reals" kys please

 

**hanzol:** yeah that was real???

 

**seokjingle:** ohhhhhh

 

**seokjingle:** i thought you were joking

 

**seokjingle:** like trying to imitate the whole "did u just assume my gender" meme

 

**hanzol:** lol nah i wasnt kidding

 

**taehyunged:** i'm hurt that you havent told me this before

 

**hanzol:** u never asked

 

**taehyunged:** yeah but all this time i've most likely misgendered you and now i feel bad

 

**minyoongitrekt:** i can't find the salt shaker

 

**hanzol:** really tae it's fine i don't mind

 

**hanzol:** if i'm bothered by something i'll have no problem telling u

 

**taehyunged:** okayy :)

 

**jung cook:** thats nice

 

**minyoongitrekt:** the salt shaker please

 

**jung cook:** i'm gonna go play overwatch

 

**hoesock:** bye byeee

 

**jung cook:** bye

 

**taehyunged:** okay bye bye kookiiieeeee

 

**jung cook:** yeah

 

**jung cook** has muted all chat notifications!

 

**taehyunged:** ??????

 

**age gap incorporated**

 

**GODSEND:** HAHA U JEALOUSSSSSSSSS

 

**cunt toad:** shut the fuck up jin

 

**GODSEND:** U CAN'T DENY THE JELLY

 

**cunt toad:** oh look

 

**cunt toad:** do u see that?

 

**GODSEND:** SEE WHAT

 

**cunt toad:** me denying it

 

**GODSEND** has muted  **cunt toad** for: **37 minutes, 19 seconds** !

 

**•○•**

 

**Clean Christian Roblox Server™**

 

**minyoongitrekt:** where

 

**minyoongitrekt:** is

 

**minyoongitrekt:** the fUCKING

 

**minyoongitrekt:** S A L T S H A K E R

 

**parkjim:** ur already salty enough, wouldn't the food be salted just from you touching it?

 

**hoesock:** hahahaha jimin u better hide

 

**hoesock:** yoongi just got up and ran outta the room at sonic speed

 

**hoesock:** ur fucked

 

**hanzol:** interesting

 

**noojman:** hahahaha

 

**noojman:** burn bitch burn

 

**hanzol:**

 

**hanzol:** ...interesting

 

**parkjim:** okay i think i;m safe becuase i;;md edjcow cjwocco o.//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

**seokjingle:** this is amusing and all

 

**seokjingle:** but don't forget to hide his midget body somewere that isn't tied to us yknow

 

**seokjingle:** too much fucking paperwork

 

**minyoongitrekt:** i know how to hide a body jin

 

**seokjingle:** just checking to make sure

 

**seokjingle:** call dad if u need help

 

**taehyunged:** you two should never be a serial killer duo

 

**noojman:** actually i thikn they'd be quite good at it

 

**taehyunged:** that;s my point

 

**taehyunged:** they'd probably manage to exterminate half the human race

 

**noojman:** point taken

 

**hanzol:** is this normal or

 

**hoesock:** yes

 

**hanzol:** o k ay

 

**•○•**

 

**parkjim:** oh yeah taehyung u never told us what happened with minhyuk

 

**hanzol:** minhyuk?

 

**seokjingle:** from mx

 

**jung cook:** ye ye

 

**hanzol:** ohh

 

**hanzol:** another hooker friend like me

 

**taehyunged:** yes very much

 

**hanzol:** add him to this chat

 

**taehyunged:** maybe, idk ill have to ask him first

 

**parkjim:** w hat di d h e sa y 

 

**taehyunged:** oH YEAH

 

**taehyunged:** SO I KNOW WHO HE LIKES HEHEHE

 

**taehyunged:** BUT I CANT TELL CUZ ITS A "SECRET"

 

**taehyunged:** EVEN THO IT'S sUPER OBVIOUS BUT EH

 

**taehyunged:** HE SAID HE WAS GONNA TELL THEM HIS FEELINGS SOON

 

**taehyunged:** I CAN'T WAIT TO SEND HIM GROSS COUPLE MEMES TO ANNOY HIM

 

**taehyunged:** HEHEHEHEEHEHEHEH

 

**noojman:** remind me why anyone has ever become friends with you

 

**taehyunged:** BECAUSE I'M HOT AND FUNNY

 

**seokjingle:** i mean can we really argue that tho

 

**hoesock:** if its true i aint denying it

 

**minyoongitrekt:** yep

 

**taehyunged:** I HAVE THE BEST HYUNGS :'D

 

**jung cook:** except for jimin

 

**jung cook:** nobody wants a jimin

 

**seokjingle:** truth

 

**minyoongitrekt:** preach brotha

 

**hanzol:** wow u guys are savage

 

**parkjim:** i literally hate u all

 

**parkjim:** including you namjoon

 

**parkjim:** you fucking suck at boyfriending

 

**noojman:** goddamnit

 

**noojman:** you're never gonna hear this again so listen the fuck up

 

**noojman:** park jimin you are an idiotic asshole but you're also a really sweet boyfriend and i will always love and want you

 

**noojman:** now if you'll excuse me i'm gonna go throw up

 

**parkjim:**

 

**taehyunged:** what kind of alternate universe have i stepped into??

 

**seokjingle:** this is rly fucking weird

 

**jung cook:** namjoon-hyung, are u sick?

 

**hanzol:** it’s really that bad? lmao

 

**parkjim:**

 

**minyoongitrekt:** this is heartwarming and all but like seriously namjoon are u actually sick because like... this is not normal behaviour

 

**parkjim:**

 

**hoesock:** i think u broke jimin

 

**minyoongitrekt:** if i was in the same situation i'd be fearing for my life

 

**seokjingle:** tru tru

 

**parkjim:**

 

**parkjim:** this is gonna last me the whole damn year

 

**hanzol:** your relationship is rly fuckin sad

 

**jung cook:** agreed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if yall knew this but i reply to like every comment so yknow hmu bb grill (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
> 
> Next Chapter: Friday, March 9th at 20.00 CT (8 p.m. central time)


	6. rip bts minus taehyung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so... i'm really sorry that this chapter is so short ): the next few chapters may be short as well as i am on a road trip throughout the western united states and good signal is hard to come by high in the rocky mountains in colorado and in the bottom of the canyons in utah (: i've also been having quite a bit of writers block recently and i really don't want to force this so much as to where it isnt funny or entertaining anymore (if it ever was in the first place). i hope you understand, and again i'm very sorry for the complications!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weekly Refresh
> 
> hansol: hanzol  
> jeongguk: jung cook  
> taehyung: taehyunged  
> jimin: parkjim  
> namjoon: noojman  
> hoseok: hoesock  
> yoongi: minyoongitrekt  
> seokjin: seokjingle

**Clean Christian Roblox Server™**

 

**taehyunged** has added  **leeminfuCK** to  **Clean Christian Roblox Server™** !

 

**hanzol:** i didnt even notice that was the name of this heh

 

**parkjim:** oh whats up min

 

**minyoongitrekt:** leeminfuCK

 

**noojman:** ...same tbh

 

**leeminfuCK:** oh what i thought u were kidding

 

**leeminfuCK** has changed their name to  **pure_unadulterated_S I N** !

 

**hoesock:** ...same tbh

 

**seokjingle:** ...same tbh

 

**jung cook:** what is going on

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** pure unadulterated sin

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** can u fucking read child

 

**seokjingle:** ...i like this one

 

**hoesock:** i can see why you two are friends

 

**taehyunged:** we're like... one and the same

 

**noojman:** so taehyung, minhyuk, and hansol are a trio

 

**noojman:** this is gonna get so much worse isn't it

 

**minyoongitrekt:** they're gonna tag team roast us

 

**parkjim:** or make the chat even sluttier than before

 

**parkjim:** bc like...

 

**parkjim:** hooker friends

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** i like this idea

 

**hanzol:** same

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** who tf r u

 

**hanzol:** hansol the hanzo main

 

**hanzol:** h an zo l

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** k

 

**hanzol:** vernon from svt idiot

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** no u

 

**hanzol:** we're going to be very good friends

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** let's get along well

 

**seokjingle:** i'm going to have grey hairs before i even turn 30

 

**noojman:** rip bts minus taehyung

 

**hoesock:** they will be missed

 

**jung cook:** or maybe not

 

**parkjim:** u got a point

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** i love this chat why was i not invited earlier

 

**hanzol:** same tho

 

**taehyunged:** i just made the chat like a week ago

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** don't fuckin care

 

**minyoongitrekt:** i forgot that u were the little shit that started this up again

 

**minyoongitrekt:** i should kill you

 

**minyoongitrekt:** but i'd rather just watch shrek

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** i like him too

 

**hoesock:** yoongi can i watch too

 

**seokjingle:** hehehehehehe

 

**hoesock:** i'll bring my shrek ears

 

**noojman:** why the fuck do you hav

 

**noojman:** you know what

 

**noojman:** never fucking mind, i don't want to know

 

**hanzol:** u guys r great

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N** has renamed  **Clean Christian Roblox Server™** to **thy meem lordes** !

 

**seokjingle:** lorde

 

**seokjingle:** lorde?

 

**taehyunged:** oh fUCK

 

**taehyunged** has muted all chat notifications!

 

**minyoongitrekt:** EVERYONE MUTE THE CHAT

 

**minyoongitrekt:** IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN

 

**seokjingle:** lorde?????????

 

**minyoongitrekt** has muted all chat notifications!

 

**hoesock:** SHIT iM OUT

 

**noojman:** PEACE BITCHES

 

**hoesock** has muted all chat notifications!

 

**noojman** has muted all chat notifications!

 

**seokjingle:** l o r d e ?     ?????????????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!? ?!??!

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** i'm confused

 

**hanzol:** same

 

**jung cook:** MUTE THE CHAT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

 

**parkjim** has muted all chat notifications!

 

**seokjingle:** LOR DE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**jung cook:** GOOD FUCkInG LUCK U TWO

 

**jung cook** has muted all chat notifications!

 

**hanzol:** what the fuck is going on

 

**seokjingle:** iVE NEVER SEEN A DIAMOND IN THE FLESH

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** what

 

**seokjingle:** I CUT MY TEETH ON WEDDING RINGS

 

**seokjingle:** IN THE MOOOOVIESS

 

**hanzol:** nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nopenopenopenopenopenpenopenopeoe enop enope enop noep nope nope nopen el;n eope nope nbIcjkqOve eind ecjko

 

**hanzol** has muted all chat notifications!

 

**seokjingle:** AND I'M NOT PROUD OF MY ADDRESS

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** well fuck

 

**seokjingle:** IN A TORN UP TOWN

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N** has muted all chat notifications!

 

**seokjingle:** NO POSTCODE ENVY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tl;dr: taehyung, hansol, and minhyuk are the three stooges, bts is dead, seokjin worships lorde.


	7. midgety ass speedy gonzalez ass ass hoe ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is early because it's so shit 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weekly Refresh
> 
> hansol: hanzol  
> jeongguk: jung cook  
> taehyung: taehyunged  
> jimin: parkjim  
> namjoon: noojman  
> hoseok: hoesock  
> yoongi: minyoongitrekt  
> minhyuk: pure_unadulterated_S I N  
> seokjin: seokjingle

**thy meem** **lordes**

 

**hanzol:** HOPE RELEASED HIS MIXTAPE

 

**taehyunged:** wAI ThwAT

 

**seokjingle:** ???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** lol he knew about it before you, MeMBeRS oF BtS, did

 

**noojman:** we knew about it, we just didn’t know it was released already

 

**jung cook:** he also refused to show us any of it so this is new to us

 

**hoesock:** do i not have the rights to privacy

 

**taehyunged:** uh, no??

 

**hoesock:** disregarded

 

**parkjim:** who cares about hoseok’s mixtape

 

**parkjim:** mine is better

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** what a funny joke i’m ca c k li n g

 

**seokjingle:** excuse me bitch? who the fuck do you think you are, disrespecting One True Jesus™’s mixtape?

 

**hanzol:** can we kick this weenie sausage out of bts

 

**noojman:** weenie sausage

 

**noojman:** how fitting

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** “we”

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** you say that as if we’re a part of bts too

 

**hanzol:** we are

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:**

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:**

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** o h shi t u ri ght u ri g ht

 

**noojman:**

 

**taehyunged:** park fucking jimin u little bitch ass hoe u act as if ur shitty ass mixtape would be any better than hoseok’s but even though we don’t talk about it we all know about that time you tried recording one of yoongi’s SLOWER raps and shit your pants from exertion, not to mention ur mixtape would be so shit because ur squeaky ass rat ass trisha paytas voice would sound like a fucking dying vulture if it tried to have any sort of flow, and unlike trisha paytas, ur eugenia cooney ass body got no room for breath support so r u gonna be fucking hyperventilating in the middle of your bars u lil midget??? ur ass is the only big part of ur body and u don’t breathe from ur ass so where the fuck u think u are now?? what a pathetic little fucker, trying to out-rap hobi, like who the fuck does this shitfuck think he is?????? learn some respect for l e g e n d s you wimpy ass midgety ass speedy gonzalez ass ass hoe ass fuckin bitch ass ching chong ass motherfucking pathetic little call of duty squeaker

 

**jung cook:** uh…. burn...?

 

**parkjim:** i

 

**minyoongitrekt:** ...taehyung

 

**taehyunged:** what

 

**minyoongitrekt:** i agree wholeheartedly

 

**minyoongitrekt:** ...but like...

 

**minyoongitrekt:** how high are you right now on a scale of 1 to 10

 

**taehyunged:** -7

 

**minyoongitrekt:** guys he’s really fucking high

 

**hanzol:** thats my boy

 

**noojman:** i could hear seokjin’s sigh from across the dorm i swear

 

**parkjim:** all i wanna know is how the fuck does he even have the time or contacts to get weed? like wtf

 

**taehyunged:** the purple men gave me a life supply the fourth time i was airlifted to the hospital

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** relatable

 

**taehyunged:** or wait was it the third

 

**hanzol:** hahahaahahah

 

**seokjingle:** it’s you isnt it

 

**hanzol:** definitely

 

**noojman:** seokjin seriously how the fuck are your sighs so loud

 

**seokjingle:** only for taehyung, do i get this done with life

 

**seokjingle:** hansol i s2g stop giving taehyung weed he’s a real fuckin lightweight

 

**hanzol:** haha haha ha ha no

 

**seokjingle:** i will castrate you

 

**hanzol:**

 

**hanzol:** worth it

 

**jung cook:** hey tae wanna share

 

**seokjingle:** um excuse?? bitch ur a fuckin child idgaf if it’s just weed i didnt give u permission

 

**jung cook:** can i smoke weed with tae dad

 

**seokjingle:** knock urself out

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** that was the most useless lecture i’ve ever seen

 

**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** and as lee minhyuk who knows yoo kihyun

  
**pure_unadulterated_S I N:** thats a fuckin feat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know when the next chapter is


	8. not a chapter i'm sorry bbz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> end me

so. heh.

i guess first of all i'm sorry about no update this past friday, things have been kind of hectic on my end. i've been on the road and camping throughout the western u.s. for about a month now, and as i am currently homeless and my laptop is being extremely uncooperative (a.k.a. the bitch won't start) my drafts for this story are currently inaccessible. whenever everything stabilizes i will try to start this story back up again. maybe in a couple weeks, after i've gotten moved in and my computer fixed.

on a lighter note, thank you for 1300 reads! i'm not exactly sure why anyone is reading this but i am still grateful nonetheless. see you in a couple weeks!

**Author's Note:**

> woo first multichaptered fic on here! again, i'm planning to update every friday around 20.00 CT (8 pm central time), so make sure to bookmark or check back in when there's a new chapter! ♥


End file.
